So I'm gonna go race..... please hold the snickering to a bare minimum

The haps: TopSport Stage Race in Copperopolis- next weekend March 27/28. 3 events in 2 days. A circuit race, a TT on Saturday and then come on back Sunday for a long ol' Road Race. Im gonna go down and race it. Im not ready. I really dont like being last. But I am forcing myself because:

A) If I dont start somewhere I will never race this year.
B) My husband is going and begged me to go with him and I blew off Madera so I feel like I owe him.

At this point there are barely any folks registered. It's a new race this year as far as I can tell unless it had some snappy name last year and I don't recognize it this year. So either, its been poorly advertised or its a horrible, hard, painful course and Im totally clueless and heading for a totally sucky weekend. I will let you know.

I'm a Category 3 racer now (all together now.... "oooooooohhhhhhhhh, you're soooooo not a bad-ass Rene because your a 3 and not a 2 but whatever!") so there are 2 races I could do. The Womens Elite 1/2/3 or the Womens Master 35+ 1/2/3. Racing with masters does NOT make it easier. In fact sometimes they are so wicked fast its mind boggling- and leg boggling. I personally am freinds with many masters ladies that can kick most guys asses. Its scary. I am NOT kidding. You fellow cycling gals out there KNOW what Im talking about. Respect the masters woman cyclist. Remember that.
But then in the Elite fields you have the young people like Shelly Olds Evans (great gal) and such teams as the Tibco squad and Columbia High Road and such and they will lay down the hurt so fast I will be off the back before I clip in. This HAS happened to me- Sausalito Criterium, Feb. 2006. 3/4 combo field, my first race EVER. My teammate Kerry and I were like "oh sure, we can do this, lets DO it- raaaarrr!!!!". It was so hard. As you know some 3s are ready to be 2s so it can be fast. Anyway.... whistle blows and Im looking down screwing around trying to clip in (I'd only been on a road bike for less than a year and was totally NOT saavy with the handling moves which included clipping in AND clipping out- ask my elbow how it felt after I fell over at a stop sign a busy intersection in Los Altos... oh and ask my pride how it felt too). So Im dicking around with my pedal and look up and the pack is around the first corner and they are like YARDS and YARDS away. Fab!!! So I raced around Sausalito in the fog, alone. Up that goddam hill over and over and over again, alone. Good times. Not. Live and learn.
So to master or not to master? Hmmmmmmm. I think I will wait til the last minute and scope out the registered athletes in each one and then pick :)

Anyway. So I haven't been riding a lot. I dont have a coach and I dont have a plan. I just ride my bike. So I have no clue really how to train effectively for certain times of the season, called peaking. I completely missed base training from November-Jan due to a minor surgery I needed. The month of October I took off the bike just because I do every year anyway, its the end of the season, I raced a boat load last year, and was fried by end of September. Plus I need the space from my Trek. So when January rolled around and I was behind the curve I just hit the bike hard like everybody esle when I went out.... Zones 3 and some 4 riding, the Noon Ride, that sort of stuff. I could feel my fitness was not there- maybe hiding but not out in full force by any stretch. Max time on the bike was about 3 hours. So my endurance at this point is low. Im not an endurance athlete anyway so I'm extra screwed !! Then end of Feb- for 3 weeks I got a sinus/inner ear thing and I was off the bike completely. 3 weeks- liek 2 weeks is enough to lose your fitness, which is just sooooo sad it takes that little time to leave your body. Im picturing a little 'fitness fairy" that flutters away from y ou one night like you see in the cartoons when they die and their little cat or mouse spirit lifts up, up and away........ So needless to say, my training has been inconsistent and almost non-existent. So I am not prepared to race- at all. The Circuit race I can wing, maybe. I think I have enough fitness from 2009 and from the few months I have ridden to hang on. I can sprint so I may do ok. Who knows? Goal is to finish with the pack for the "pack time" since a Stage Race is a series of event and its all timed so you want the least amount of time to do well. So finishing with the pack in a crit gives you a pack time and you are even with everybody else who finished with the pack. Unless there is a break then those folks get a better finish time- you get the picture. The TT (Time Trial) I will suck eggs. I just will. Even when I am fit I suck at TT. I am small, which is a disadvantage. I dont have a TT bike or all the cool garb that goes along with it to make you more aerodynamic. I do have an aero helmet but that is a fraction of time. I dont TRAIN for TTs , if I did might actually do ok. Not fantastic but ok. Its fine. Im not a Time trialist- I can sleep at night knowing this so its all good. So its the TT that will drop my ass down the GC (General Classification which is the overall standings per time) faster than a cat can shred a 2 ply shower curtain. Thats ok, like I said I dont expect much from myself on the TT part. The road race... ahhhh the road race. Its gonna be 69 miles!! Thats a lot of miles. Thats a loooooooooong road race. And dude, Ive maybe done 60 on the bike... once!!!! I am sooooooo screwed. COmbine my lack of endurance with the fact that I am racing with not only 3s but the 1s and 2s too. I am soooooo superly screwed !!!!!!

BUT !!! It will be a fantastic workout. I mean, Im clearly sick in the head as are most of us bike racers. Our idea of a good time is to go out and rev our heart rates up so I high we almost go into v-fib (this is technically clinically true) and the lactic acid buildup in our legs could essentially disconnect our thighs from our torso and the lung burn is bad enough to make you puke and shed the first few layers of lung tissue. Its horrible pain and it is like a physical vs mental battle to hang on, even when you're good!! But afterwards its always like "oh my god that was soooo much fun, I cant wait for the next Stage race guys!! Lets book our hotel NOW for next year ok!!!!!!!!!" We are all disturbed. Plus, I get to get away for 2 days with the hubby and some freinds. I get to eat gobs of recovery food too (recovery food includes any and all foods that are no-nos during training time- which I ignore anyway which is why my ass is so fat right now !!! But I digress- the "ass rant" is another whole blog Im saving up to share with you all- dont you feel uber-special? Betcha cant wait to read THAT one !! LOL

Hopefully TopSport will kick start my desire to race again. Maybe getting out there and smelling the race bibs (in the air, not rubbing them directly on my schnoz) and the sweat and the sound of wheels spinning in trainers will make me start jonesing for the podium. Im sure the podium will remain the elusive "block of assymetrical wood you see at registration" not the "assymetrical block of wood I was standing on after most of my races in 2009" for a big chunk of this year, possibly the entire year, but thats the way it might have to be. When you move up from a Category 4 to a Category 3, you *tend* to get smacked around a bit in the 1/2/3 combo races because the range of the level of fitness and bike racing tactics skills is HUGE !!! HUGE I tell you.

So, Im gonna just go DO TopSport Stage Race and see how I do, see how I feel. I will try not to cry too much when I see the overall results. Or at least I will choke it back and maintain a cheery disposition thru a gritted-teeth cheesey smile as I congratulate you for doing well.... then sashe' back the to the car all calm and deliberate and then unload and self loathe and throw my cycling shoes into the back seat and have a conversation with myself and lecture myself about not training harder and being a slacker and its my own freakin fault I came in last. Then Martin will hug me and we will go get some ice cream on the way home to ease the suffering. It will be good times I tell you !!! Ive been thru this before in early season last year. It thankfully was short lived (like 3 months) then it clicked for me and I was tearing it up out there and racing became painful AND rewarding :) The view from the podium is AWESOME !!! Like you can see Canada from up there !!!!!

Im hoping only 10 women show up so even if I get 10th I can say "Holy Cannolli, I got top 10 !!!!!!!".

Full race report will follow on Monday March 29