My first post-beware- full of rantings to just get 'em off my chest.

Ok so this is a blog. This is neat. I warn you, Im just gonna start typing, no idea where it will go. MY freinds know Im random and above all silly and WEIRD so its not like my stories will phase anybody. I still have to figure out how to do everything. Im really kind of a techno- idiot so I need to figure out how to do all the cool stuff and learn what "gadgets" are, etc. I wish one of the features was an auto-correct, I type so freaking fast I make a billion typos then I have to go back and fix them.... takes time away from unloading my brain.
My brain- theres a good conversation starter. I'm not sure who initially wired my cerebellum but they need to be fired. Im on overdrive all the time. Those that know me can attest to that :). Its good in a way, keeps me on my toes but it also makes me ponder too much and that can be draining.
So this morning, Im in a foul mood. The "usual". I've put some weight back on. This is the root saga of my daily bad mood- the weight struggle. Obviously my genetics favor a huge ass. Im not cool with that. The diet thing , its never going to end. It sucks. Im never going to look the way I would like, so , this is my daily struggle. I swear if I didn't have a sense of humor and such a busy life and chickens to round up out of my living room I would lock myself in a closet and cry 12 hrs a day. The problem is very bad- I want to be thin but not bad enough to actually stop munching in the evening. I have the BEST will power til say 7pm then its like a switch is flipped and I dont give a shit. Its annoying. I realize it. So why cant I get around that? Who the hell knows. If somebody has the answer could you send me a quick e mail? Thanks. And my freinds are all awesome and supportive: "you look fine.". I HATE that. "Thanks pals, thats super sweet of you to say that my fat, bubble ass is 'fine' ". Its not fine, I dont look fine so stop telling me I look fine. Am I the only one is annoyed by this? Probably not. I find that most women who are athletes are equally jacked up in the image department. I think the main issue here is that I am approaching 40. Im ok with the number, Im not ok with my metabolism taking a long term vacation. When I was in high school I weighed 125 pounds and had like No body fat-none. I ran track tho and was a super-star sprinter. Like my record still stands at my high school for the 200 meters. I qualified every year for CIS in the 400m, 200m and 4x100 relay. We had a kick ass squad and I was the anchor. Back then, BIIIIIG deal. Now? Not so much- get over it Rene :) I was ripped, I was trim, I had great legs but NO self esteem so I didnt realize how HOT I was until now. High school could have been soooo much more fun knowing that guys actually wanted to go out with me, cute guys. HIndsight..... I hope i can teach my daughter to know that she ROCKS and can be choosey about who she dates, even if she has a zit..... its ok... look past the zit, Meg, your mom didnt and High school sucked immense moose balls. I dont want to think about my almost 11 year old girl dating right now.... or ever for that matter. Moving on..... Now that Im almost 40 I see how being 18 rocks. I see 18 year olds walking around taking their bods for granted. They will be sorry in 20 years if they dont at least enjoy being firmer, less jiggly, less cellulitey, and smoother skinned.....they will. Then they will blog bout it in 2025- "like "OMG I sooooo should have appreciated my body more". Whatever.
Ok- so what else can I write about. Well in a nutshell my life has been book worthy. I have the BEST stories. im going to do my best to document all this in my newly created and ohsospecial blog! Bt that will take time. I have some spare time since I dont work but I shouldnt say I dont work. I dont get paid- thats it. I run the home and 2 active kids... its exhausting and a selfless job. I get no time for me. When was the last time I got a pedicure? My toenaiols are scary and Im stressed about this because for Final EMT skills testing, we have to do leg splints and we have to take our socks off so we can test capillary refill and Im mortified that one of my class mates will see my funky toes !!! See? Im screwed up... but I digress. I think I have a good way of telling my stories and sagas in person too, like lots of adjectives and exaggerated hand movements and body language and all that. People usually are busting up around me. Its great. I hope I can convey this in m blog. Actions speak louder than words kinda thing. Like this blog could bore everybody to tears which would suck so let me know if you hate this and maybe I can try to convey it differently? I dont know, this will be a work in progress ok? Ive also had a boat load of health issues that sucked so bad and I lived with it for so long. Multiple surgeries, folks, multiple. Like pre-op doesnt scare me anymore. Small gauge IV needles are like standard stuff now- needles that would send most folks running for the hills...not me, slap it in there, start the meds that make me not give a crap about the fact that Im heading into another huge operation. BUt through all that misfortune that was my anatomy I have found a way to retell it as a saga that I have survived. People are amazed and through them I realize it was indeed amazing. I guess I dont realize how strong I was and how much perserverance I had until somebody says "wow" and looks at me totally stunned when I tell them what I went thru. I seriously got dealt a bad health hand thats for sure. Im ok for the most part but its lurking and trying to come back. Im not ok with that. Im really bummed actually. But until Im to the point of not functioning again Im going to pretend its not lurking around the corner. I will get into those gross details in time. Another blog, another time.
Right now Im just unloading my brain. WOuld be great to have some sort of download cable from the brain to the computer USB port. Super fast, super easy. But until then, I will type.
I have so many stories playing in my head right now, like which one do I type first? Do I start a new blog or do I just tack in on to the post of the day? Does anybody care if I create and index on my blog to my life stories? I dont think so.

I think a good start would be to document the craziness of the pets I have.
I have the following:

1 horse- a big horse, who lives at a nice barn 10 minutes from here. His name is Monte and I need to sell him sooner than later.
4 Chickens that free- range in my back yard -and subsequently free-poop all over the damn place. They have names: Tarragon, Tetrazinni, Tweety and Teriyake
1 3 year old, 85 pound Great Pyrenees/Golden Retriever named Toby who chases his tail (still) and sheds like a shag rug thats been danced on too much.
1 15 year old dog named Andre who is really old, did I mention that he is old? Well, hes old and he just had surgery to save his 15 year old life. We love Andre.
1 Black cat named Roo who is a love sponge but hes mostly outdoor now that he thinks spraying my wall with his man-cat stentch is a good thing.... its not.
1 orange-tabby kitten named Oliver but he goes by Kitten-Cat, and Spots since he has these ridiculously cute spots all over his belly.
1 fat, lard-ass, miserable, scowling, hater-of-life grey tabby cat named Leila who came from my husbands ex-wife in the divorce- this cat has issues (do does his ex) and we think this cat got overly psycho-analyzed by that lady and is unfixable at this point. We feed her and let her out each night and she hisses at us and acts like we suck. She sucks. But shes ours so she stays.
2 Bearded Dragons that belong to Meg but somehow I feed them and make sure they are well heated. They look at me all aloof all the time like they are better than me. Whatever. Im ok with that, if it makes them feel good then I can play along. By the way here are your chopped mustard greens for lunch oh wise and smart Rocky and Casper.
1 Green Iguana names Zeus that belongs to Jared. He doesnt do much other than stretch out on a stick and bask then around sunset hides under his log. Excitement much? no.
A 50 gallon tank with lots of fish, they are un-named. The kitten loves to sit and watch them, we call the tank "Kitten TV"
1 tank of breeding crickets to feed the dragons. If you want an outdoor camping experience some evening, come chill out in Megs room with a sleeping bag and some microwave popcorn. Good times.... good times.

So I think I listed them all.
Most of the amusement comes from the kitten. The other day he let himself into the bearded dragon tank and curled up under the heat lamp. The dragons were either too stunned to move or they didnt give a rats ass as they all basked together like one happy reptile-mammal family. It was hysterical and I wish I got a photo. I was more concerned about pulling the cat out of there and dusting it off than finding my camera. Hind-sight.

More animal silliness you ask? Ok! So we have a dog door. The dogs USE the dog door. They go out, they come in. Its a perfect system. The back door is not the best closing door at times if you dont make sure it catches. Toby knows this. Toby shoved open the door one windy day (he HATES wind, its soo sad its funny) when I was at the barn mucking horse crap (another set of stories for another day) so when I got home... yea... chickens- all 4 of them had totally partied in my house. I came home to them sitting on the backs of the 4 dining chairs in the kitchen. It was too much. I had to herd them out of there. Do you know how hard it is to herd 4 stupid chickens? When I say stupid I mean brainless and retarded. Like they cant remember where they came into the house so they run around all confused. Ive got one chicken under each arm and am using my legs to scoot the other 2 out the back door. The two dogs and the kitten are sitting mid-stair case taking it all in. Thanks for the help useless guard dog #1 and #2. So I get the "ladies" as we call them, out the door and then turn around to survey the damage. You guessed it. Chicken shit... everywhere. If you havent owned a chicken you probably dont know they are shitting machines. Picture a gumball machine with a stuck lever and instead of cute brightly colored gum balls coming out you have black, tarry, chicken turds squirting out ON THE RUG ! Not the hardwood because that would at least be civilized.. but the rug and the WHITE RUG under the coffee table that is in the corner of the room. Its like they came in, took a gander around and said "right !!!! over there guys by the coffee table- lets just STAND around that area for like ooohhh, 2 minutes". Gross !!!!
So out comes the Soft-Scrub and a sponge that will never see the light of day again in its short life for a scrub fest. I love my life.

Hey, I just realized that writing all this has made me forget about my fat ass problem. Yay for blogging.