WHAT is wrong with people!!?? Blogged October 2011

Blogged October 2011 So it dawned on me that really the funniest ideas that I manage to come up with when I think about blogging and how my readers would respond, have to do with ranting about stuff. Its not like Im the first person to think about ranting or full on ranting on the chosen subject- chances are you are all on the bandwagon with me. With party horns and a keg of beer.
So where to start? Well there are several topics I can pull off the top of my head: Here they are in book format-

Asian Drivers and You- the Cupertino Survival Guide
Why must you pass me on a blind curve Mr Expensive Car Driver?
Do you really think you are the only entity on the planet? Get your head out of your ass and move it!!!!
Why yes, $125 for Flip Flops sounds reasonable!... and other ghastly priced items found in Los Gatos
Shit River- The constant flow of animal poop in my life and how I've bonded with the pooper scooper.
Why bother? I JUST vaccumed the entire house and yet there are still Toby Tumbleweeds skipping around my floor!!!
Waving the White Flag- I give up, my parents just dont get it
The story of my ulcer and thanks for choosing me.

Other good topics are my OCD stuff- oh boy this is a gold mine. The number one topper on the OCD list is my bed sheets. I kid you not, I am a wierdo. Bottom line- the sheets must be the same length at the top as the top blanket, not longer, not shorter, but just lined up into one unit. Other than that I hate having dirty hands- bike grease, dirt, food, pet hair, whatever, I dont want it there. Im not a compulsive hand washer which I find interesting given my hatred of dirty hands. Or dirty in general- camping is an exhausting event for me. I spend the entire time washing up in the lake only to trek more dirt onto my body as I hike back to the campsite. Its a vicious cycle that I lose each time.

But back to the ranting. I think the best thing here is to just go down the list and give a brief rant about each one.

The Asian Driver- ok it sounds racist but Im really NOT racist. But Asians cant drive. They cant. And its not an environmental thing- because the immigrants drive just as bad as the american born and raised ones. There is some gene that controls this: the inability to push down hard on the gas pedal, the inability to turn off a blinker and the inability to realize that they are blocking the parking lot. You cant really blame them. Its like any other genetic issue- like an alcohol dehydrogenase deficiency or celiac disease from gluten sensitivity. As for the survival guide part- yeah if you're cycling in Cupertino it is soley UP to YOU to protect your own life. Its akin to cycling thru East Palo Alto at night. Its dangerous. Enter at your own risk. And WHO the hell designed the parking lots in Cupertino?!! Specifically the Asian food markets? Talk about compounding an already existing problem !! Lets make super narrow parking spots, and super narrow aisles so 2 cars cant pass and so it is impossible to back out of a spot without having to do some sort of 6 point turn!!! I love asian food markets, and I tend to shop at them once in a while to stock up on cool, hard to find stuff like coconut water, or spicy ramen noodles. If you love coconut Ranch 99 Market is for you. BUt man do I stick out like a sore thumb. I usually the only white chick. One day this nice Asian - american woman about my age said "its so great to see non- asians shop here!" But once youre in the store- check your basic personal space bubble at the door. I think the acceptable place to stand next to a stranger in Asia is right ON them, like nose to nose. Its cultural and I try to respect that but while leaning over to look at the cookies I do NOT like having a woman pressed up behind me.