5 weeks 5 days post accident. Blogged on 04March 2011

Blogged 04March2011: Under the advisement of many I have been told to journal my life for the purposes of healing, and for evidence in the lawsuit. A day in the life of me pre-Jan.23rd vs a day in the life of me now.
Pre: my life was full. Brimming in fact. I had lots to do and not enough time to do it. I am a mother of two. A boy Jared who is 13 and a daughter megan who is 11. I am an athlete. I have always been an avid runner. I run because it makes me feel good and keeps the endorphines flowing. Im a cyclist. I raced for Los Gatos Bicycle Racing Club. I trained for said bike season to compete within the Northern California Nevada Racing Association calendar. I had a super successful 2009 season, among the accomlpishments-gaining an upgrade to a Category 3 racer, winning the State Championship at the Velodrome for the womens Masters 35+, getting on the podium at many races and making a name for myself as a contending sprinter. I was a student. ETS in Santa Cruz was my second home beginning August 2010. Intenstive didactic work, huge amount of material to absorb and know, countless hours of studying, commuting over the hill several times a week and subsequently making the top grades in my class. Learning skills that would ultimately save lives, ease suffering and help those in need. Its a thankless job but somebodys got to do it. I wanted it because I never went to medical school even tho I had prepared. I wanted to do diagnostic medicine. I wanted to be elbows deep in trauma medicine. Bing Bing BIng.... paramedic ! Ok, mother, athlete, paramedic student.. what else. Oh, wife. And farm keeper. We have more animals on this property than most working cattle ranches. So a lot of my time goes toward feeding, watering, cleaning and maintaining a flock of chickens, 2 bearded dragons, 1 green iguana, 2 cats and 2 dogs, one of which is almost 16 and more work than normal.
A typical weekday for me would be: get up, get kids up, make them breakfast and pack lunches, help them find their shoes, remind them to pack their backpacks, get them out the door, clean up the kitchen, shower, dress, pack my bag, commute to Santa Cruz, sit in class 9am til 5pm, drive back home, squeeze in a bike ride or a run depending on how much daylight was left, get home, make dinner, do homewoek with the kids, get them ready for bed, then finally shower myself and then prop myself on the couch with massive book s to prepare for tests or the next days lectures for my class. On days I dint have school I would do the above up to getting the kids out the door then I would clean the backyard, the chicken coop, the house, get on my bike and do my prescribed workout anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours depending on the day. I would be home in time for the kids coming home around 3pm, make snacks, help them get on track with homework, do chores, etc. Dinner, dishes, attempt to get kids into showers and jammies, tuck them in, then I would pick up the day with proping on the couch with my medic books.
Day of the tradgedy: 11am met my freind Carole at the Peets coffee in downtown Los Altos for a 2 hour zone 2 training ride. Did the Portola Loop. GOrgeous day. Warm. Sunny. Tons of cyclists on the road. Heading back south on Foothill Expressway Carole wanted to ride ahead a bit, which was fine with me as I had to try and get my heartrate a bit lower. The last thing I remember about that ride was looking down at my HR meter. Then I woke up in excruciating pain. Confused. Disoriented. Extreme back pain. Road rash all over my body. People around me talking to me, telling me to lay still. Paramedics putting me on the backboard and c-collar. Hurt to move at all, pleaded with them to not move me but they had to get me to the trauma center. I was A/O x1 (out of 4) which usually indicates a brain injury. Usually. The moment I was hit was 1:16 pm. I arrived at Stanford I beleive shortly after 2pm. I was a "load an go" situation on scene. No time for IVs or medical history taking. Golden Hour commenced at 1:16pm. I dont remember the exact sequence of events from impact to a couple days into my stay at the trauma wing. Thge pain I remember was horrid. My back was broken. Possible fractures to my right elbow, knee and enough road rash to keep anybody busy scrubbing for hours. I did not have a head injury in the sense of an epidural or subdural bleed. I did have a concussion. I had to be moved by this crane in the trauma wing. But first they had to get the special sheet with handles on it under me and smoothed out. Horrid I wanted to die. I remember the CT scanner, I remmber the Xray tech, he was really kind, I remember the crane. I remember the events that caused me such pain even the Dilaudid and Fentenyl couldnt mask. 6 hours of radiographs, tests, exams, scrubbing my road rash out. That was SUnday. MOnday morning I was told I needed to fuse my spine. My vertebrae was fractured so badly that it was unstable and I faced the loss of the use of my legs.
For 3 days I lay there, on my back, recovering from a huge spinal surgery, recovering from being slammed into by a mercedes seda at 45 mile per hour. Recovering from shattering his windsheild with my spine. Recovering from wacking my head on the roof of his car, recovering from the impact with the road after flying thru the air unconscious, not bracing for my fall, landing on my right side and head. Recovering forom sliding so extensively ont he asphalt that my joints were scraped to the bone. FOr 3 days I recovered , not moving, sleeping during the drug highs and crying when I was awake. Suffering was horrible. By day 4 the Neuro team was concerned I would develop an embolism, a potentially life threatening clot in my lungs or heart, so I was fored to move. I tried to sit up with the aid of the moving head of the bed. So sick form the meds, dizzy, nauseated. DIdnt want to sit. Made me sit. Vomitted. WIth a broken back, that was unreal pain, unreal. I saw stars. By day 4 I wasnt in a constant fog. From Day 1 onward I do remember freinds coming to see me. Mike came by on his shift as an EMT, I remember that. I remember Aron, with a big balloon for me as he was working his rotation in the ER that day. I remember CHris , Josh, Nick in my room. There was a 4th, I cannot remember. Corey came to see me, I dont remember that. Which days they came? I dont know. My mom was there. My dad. Beverly and Terry. Rikke and Thomas, my preceptor from GSH Kim, my sister in law Candi, Pam McDaniel, Lisa, Evan, Marie, Kim Perez, and Carole.....Carole was there from Time zero and on. I owe her more than I could ever give for her sacrifices for me. My husband Martin there for every second of that horrid nightmare at Stanford. It took til about day 6 to get the pain meds properly titrated. I was on Dilaudid, Fentenyl, morphine, heparin, 3 muscle relaxors, nerve pain reducers, tylenol for fever. I was so sick. I was constantly light headed, nauseated. I was on a clear liquid diet for 6 days. From Day 3 on the OT and PT came to my room to try and get me moving, It was futile as I vomitted each time I got upright sitting on the edge of the bed. Day 4 the Neuro team ordered the foley catheter removed. Now I HAD to move to a camode. Day 4 I manged to move my butt from the edge of the bed to the camode. I couldnt sit more than a few seconds. Day 5 I was able to stand and walk a few steps with help from 2 people. Day 6 I could walk a few more feet with help from 2 people. By day 7 I could walk the 8 feet to the bathroom and painfully sit and get up with help. Nauseated the entire time. Entire time. My eyes were sunken, I was pale, thin and covered in bandages which had to be changed frequently since I was missing a good amount of skin. Like a burn, no skin can lead to many problems. Day 7 was January 29th- discharge day. evening rolled around and I had to get into normal clothes and get into a wheel chair. The trip home was awful. I couldnt sit without pain at all. I was moaning and fidgeting the entire time. When I arrived home 30 minutes later, there was my family and several friends there, mom, dad, Carole, Bev and Terry. The car had to be backed up into our back yard and with the use of a walker I walked with help the 20 feet into my family room and onto the couch.