Welcome to my life....

I started this blog to simply document my life.  Between my kids my numerous pets, sporting events, and the craziness that I seem to attract, my life seems to be rather amusing.  Why not write them all down?  I mean, my memory is starting to crap out on me with old age and these gems need to be documented.  
I dont even know where to begin......

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Announcing the arrival of.......

Name: National Registry EMT-Basic Certification
Born: March 30, 2010 at 11:55am PST
Weight: 3 ounces
Height: 8x10 in.


Oh come ON!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not my geraniums too! ....and a side lesson on psuedopod reproduction

Its been a bit since Ive blogged. I feel a little bad. Ive been studying for my National Registry Exam for EMT (Emergeny Medical Technician) and I passed on 3/30 so that feels great. Now I have to submit that card and all the other paperwork needed to apply for State Licensure, THEN I can get a job and then I can apply to Paramedic School.

So last weekend I finally bought some plants for the backyard since its looking a bit drab. We used to have more flowering plants in the yard. That was until we got chickens who systematically dug them up or trampled them. I dont hold too much animosity towards them, they're just doing their chicken thing and besides they give us lovely eggs. But Im determined to have some freakin' color in my yard man !! I did plenty of research on which plants chickens will not eat. Geraniums was high on the list. That and Azaleas. Oh and herbs, they dont like herbs. Fine. I bought 4 geraniums ( 1 gallon size) and 2 azaleas. I planted them all the other afternoon when it was warm and lovely. It was good times, the chickens loooooooove when I garden because I dig up all kinds of critters with tasty exoskeletons for them to crunch on. Not to mention the slugs, and worms... its pretty funny, they just dig around in the dirt with me and talk to me and gather around when I go "ooooh. check this grub out". Its compounded by Meg trying to "save" any baby creatures she finds. So then ultimatley what Im left with is my daughter and a tuppeware which she has lovingly filled with co-habitating baby bugs and such and a small bowl of water, some red-leaf lettuce from our fridge oh and some chalk since the baby snails need calcium for their shells. Huh? "I looked it up on line mom.... from many websites". Ok. Good girl. That seems cute right? It is. Whats not cute is the huge argument I get into with her about keeping them all. In the house.

Me: "No way" "Youve got a 100 gallon tank with dragons in it"
Meg: "I'll get rid of them, these baby snails are more fun" (insert dramatic pouty, oh my life is so bad and Im so full of woe voice here)
Me: "Meg, these babies need to go back into the garden. Dont you think their moms will miss them?' (this approach only works if your child is under 6 and has no internet access)
Meg: "Mommy snails lay their eggs and leave. Oh and the eggs look like clear jelly"
Me: " oh"
long pause
Me: "well, you cant keep them, Im sorry. They will just shrivel up and die. So lets free them together in the enclosed part of the yard so the chickens dont gobble them up"
Meg : after a long, intensive inner battle thinking war about how the snails will fare loose in our yard vs how she will fare butting heads with her mother who has supreme executive power over how much fun she is allowed to have each day..... "Ok"
Phew... crisis averted.
The next 30 minutes were spent watching as these baby snails frolicked on a piece of lettuce til the point where Meg felt they would lead full, well-balanced and fruitful lives. I have to admit, they are freakin' adorable, like as big as half your pinky nail with cute little feelers and cute little eyeball stalks.

Ok so back to the plants..... oh and by the way the above snail-saga is a TRUE, un-editted story. Those of you who know my daughter, tooooooootally can picture this :)

So..... I put one geranium, we will call him Fred in the enclosed area we have around our tree and the other three, Ted, Zed and Ned along the fence. I put large rocks around my newly planted prizes so the ladies can dig them up. The fence line is not enclosed, but they can get behind the little 6 inch-high fence thing and roll around in the dirt, It's called dust-bathing and they do it daily to keep bugs off them. They then like to walk over to the patio and shake and about a pound of dirt flies off them and leaves a huge burn pattern of filth on my patio- thanks for that. Digging and rooting is not a vicious, ill-temptered act on their part, but merely the way they forage for food and they can easily destroy plants by this method, ask my lilies how they felt about it as they lay gasping on the ground for carbon dioxide. Its quite a production to watch actually (and I have taken the time to do so) where they do this chicken jig with their feet to move the dirt or grass around then they peck furiously at it. So 2 days go by and they have left my lovely flowers alone... phew !!! In fact before I even planted them I brought the little pots into the back yard and let them sit there for an hour to ensure they wouldnt prove to be delectable. It was quite the poultry pow-wow I tell you. All four of them gathered around these 6 pots discussing how unpalatable they were. THey came to some sort of group concensus that these plants were of no value to them. They couldnt eat them, they couldnt roll in them and they didnt dispense cucumbers so they turned their tailfeathers and went back to what ever it is they do. At that time of day it was time to sit on the air conditioning unit next to the house and look stupid while they preened. Horray... my plant babies are safe..... Made sense, do geraniums even look remotely tasty? No. I can imagine a jasmine to be yummy or maybe a fern but not a thick leaved brut like the geranium, it just looks bitter. Im thrilled to peices, my yard will be full of color soon. Here is one of the geraniums, Fred (the light pink flowered guy) enjoing his new home in the protected part of the yard along with the new gladiola shoots, mexican lavendar and the bird bath-




Today (that would be 3 days post planting) I walk out into the yard to gather the eggs (its a ritual, every 3 days I remember "oh crap I havent collected the eggs in awhile!!!!!" and I trapse out there with chickens on my heels as I say hello to my flowers and I acknowldege Fred there in the sunshine looking dandy in his post-transplantal state. I then proceed to load up my arms with eggs and make it back inside without dropping them. Im successful about 95% of the time. When Im walking back inside I glance at Ned, Zed and Ted and I have a coronary. Here's why.....



Oh My GOD !!!! Youre kidding me!!???!!! My geranium !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What gives???!!!! Fucker. Does she look guilty at all?



No. No she is not. In fact she'll do it again without a shred of remorse.

My azaleas are fine.